2019, R, Directed by Neil Marshall, Lionsgate, 120 minutes
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Hellboy – Film Review (Spoiler Free)

David Harbour deserves much better…

A reboot isn’t inherently a bad idea.  If a different writer/director can bring a new vision to an existing character, it can result in fresh takes on beloved characters.  We saw this with Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy, as well as 2013’s Evil Dead, which defied expectations at how it took itself seriously but maintained its quality.  Too often however, it can result in a subpar product, and most unfortunately that’s what we have on our hands with this new Hellboy.  The original was cheesy at times, but it had a great sense of humor, a beautiful visual style (as Guillermo Del Toro usually delivers), and it always knew exactly what it was, maintaining an overall tonal consistency.  It’s difficult to find any of that in this reboot however.

Not Off to a Great Start
The film opens in 6th Century England as Professor Broom (Ian McShane) narrates the story of how King Arthur and Merlin defeated the evil witch Nimue (Milla Jovovich), also known as the Blood Queen.  Right away, the film flaunts its “R” rating by randomly dropping “F” bombs and showing a ridiculous amount of bright red blood that looks like it was taken right out of 300.  There’s nothing wrong with excessive language and violence to go along with an “R” rating, but in a strange way it feels like Hellboy never really earns that rating.  Its overall level of cheesiness fits better with a “PG-13”, and here it just looks like they sprinkled in enough cursing and blood to be taken seriously with the “R”.

The opening prologue is oddly reminiscent of The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. Mostly because of the inclusion of Merlin, and the fact that Ian McShane narrates both films.

From there, we go to present day where we get our first glimpse of David Harbour as the titular antihero.  Hellboy is in Tijuana chasing down a fellow agent in order to bring him back.  It is admittedly fun watching him get into an unexpected wrestling match with a vampire, but something just feels off about our main character.  The original Hellboy came out 15 years ago, but somehow Ron Perlman’s makeup/costume still looks a million times better.  And it’s a shame because Harbour really does capture a gritty nihilism and brings something new to the character.  It’s just unfortunate for him that his costume and makeup, along with the rest of the film aren’t nearly as good.  He deserves better!

David Harbour (left) looks more like a cosplayer at a convention than Hellboy. And it’s a shame because his performance is great.

No Idea What It Wants To Be
As previously mentioned, the original film, along with its sequel, certainly had their cheesy moments.  But everything in them felt genuine, as their tone was consistent throughout.  On the other hand, this film wildly jumps all over the place.  We see Hellboy go to England to help an ancient order of knights defeat giants, just have that entire plot derailed by a first act twist that’s never really brought up again or paid off later.  We then get fight scenes that should be awesome except the camera work is so shaky with a millions cuts and loud rock musing blasting, that it almost feels like a 14 year old watched the original and cried, “Make it more extreme!!!”

This all results in a mess of a film that’s trying so hard to be edgy and cool that it forgets basic character development and plot consistency.  We’re still being introduced to characters we’re supposed to care about well into the third act.  And to be frank, the entire King Arthur/Merlin backstory just feels tire and clichéd now.  It was admirable that this reboot wanted to go with a completely different story, but why one so overplayed in Hollywood?

Hellboy is teamed up with Alice (Sasha Lane) and Major Daimio (Daniel Dae Kim), but both of them just feel like charicatures.

And it’s all at the expense of Hellboy’s backstory which is completely glossed over, with the exception of one brief flashback that seemingly comes out of nowhere.  In a strange way, it feels like this plotline would have worked better simply as the third installment in the original series rather than as a reboot introducing us a new version of the character.  Because it’s a new Hellboy, they felt compelled to include his backstory, but unlike the original, that backstory played no role in the greater plot so it just feels out of place here.

Apparently Professor Broom doesn’t age. Because he looks exactly like this in the flashback to 1945, and hasn’t changed a bit 74 years later!

Had the filmmakers had a clear vision from the start, Hellboy probably would have played out much better.  Rather it seems that they had a checklist of items to include (cool music, extreme fight scenes, jokes, something with a wizard, deep philosophical discussion about monsters coexisting with humans, etc.), and when all of that is thrown together haphazardly, it creates a jumbled mess of a film!

What do you think?

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