Andrew Robinson
In the penultimate episode of Game of Thrones, a lot happens to set up the events of the finale. Unfortunately, not much of it is particularly well-written.
Spoilers WILL be present for the penultimate episode, so proceed at your own risk.
Summary
Daenerys’ armies arrive at King’s Landing, where Cersei awaits. Jamie, Arya, and The Hound all debate their futures. Daenerys grapples with her best course of action.
Analysis
Ew.
That one word could serve as an entire recap of “The Bells.” Let’s dive into why.
Where to begin?
The main characters have all been reduced to shells of themselves. Arya is a scared little girl after years of building her into a cold-blooded assassin. Tyrion is a naive thinker who’s nearly always wrong – or at least out-thought – after years of being hailed as the greatest decision-maker in Westeros. Jamie is a “hateful” man after years of a character redemption arc is thrown out the window in about three minutes. Varys is suddenly a rash thinker after being one of the most conniving characters in the entire show for its run. Cersei is reduced to a bumbling, crying, “I just don’t want to die” character who has no crazy battle schemes after years of being one of the best, most ruthless and emotionless battle schemers in all of Westeros. Jon is a lovestruck idiot who blindly follows his Queen (his love) – despite her clear and obvious character malformations, as well as the protests of the people he loves – after seasons of being one of the kindest, most humane, and most willing-to-listen, family-oriented characters on the show. And then there’s the Queen herself. Daenerys is the Mad Queen; she’s followed directly in her father’s footsteps after years of assuring everyone around her – and herself – that she will never turn into her father. Instead, despite there being little indications throughout the first seven seasons (save her parentage), Dany is reduced to a Mad Queen in just two episodes.
There is one saving grace of “The Bells.” Just one. The long-awaited fight between The Mountain and The Hound is fantastic, and ends just as it always should have: with the zombified Mountain looking unbeatable, but The Hound pushing the two of them out the building, killing himself in the process. For a character that has been seeking revenge for his entire life, The Hound’s character arc ends perfectly.
As stated, though, that’s the only redeeming feature of “The Bells.” Let’s take a look at the battles themselves next.
So, after killing Rhaegal with relative ease, Dany failing to scream “Dracarys” at the ships, and her army of Unsullied looking utterly dumbfounded by the Iron Fleet’s absolute brilliance last episode, Euron’s Iron Fleet is, um, destroyed by Drogon and Dany in, like, two minutes? If that? Okay, so we know Drogon can breathe fire, hypothetically destroying the ships easily. This begs the question, though: why didn’t Dany just, you know, destroy the Iron Fleet last episode? And how did Euron possibly kill Rhaegal? With two dragons, it should have been incredibly easy to destroy the Iron Fleet. Maybe Euron got lucky with a shot that Dany didn’t see coming, okay, fine. But, really? For a show that has built its name on its incredible battle scenes, just, really? And then she just obliterates the entire Iron Fleet by herself, with no help outside of Drogon, in roughly two minutes of screen time. Brilliant battle scene there, GoT. We’ll get to the outcome of said battle in just a minute.
Let’s check in on the other major battle! So, as many expected, Dany seems to have gone full Mad Queen, and threatens to destroy the entire city. Tyrion tries to reason with her, but he, of course, fails. Then, however, he seems to get to her by saying that they should at least call everything off if Cersei’s army surrenders, and the bell is rung. Seems smart, yeah? Well, of course, after Cersei’s army does indeed surrender because they are severely outnumbered, Dany decides to attack the city because, why not. We get that she’s suddenly the Mad Queen now but, wow, is that change sudden. Even more annoyingly, however, Cersei has absolutely no battle plans or schemes to speak of. Evidently, her scheme is to… lie her army in wait of the coming army and dragon. No, the woman who once blew up the Sept with wildfire has no tricks up her sleeve when her life is once again on the line. Nah, she’ll just hang out in her castle, leave her army as a bunch of sitting ducks right in front of the city, and then again in front of the Red Keep, and hope for the best. Because who needs battle plans, right?
Back to that first battle. So, of course, Euron survives. He’s presumably the only person who survives from Cersei’s side and, guess what, he shows up just in time to catch none of than Jamie Lannister, who is trying to sneak into the Red Keep after Tyrion inexplicably lets him free and tells him to get Cersei and run! What a coincidence! The two then engage in a cheesy battle, with both getting their licks in. Jamie is stabbed in the arm, and things look dire. But, no, he’s a major character; he can survive a minor stab to the arm! Euron then stabs him in the leg, and things look dire. Sound familiar? Well, it should because Jamie once again proves himself to be a major character, and he survives the stab to the leg, kills Euron, and runs off to find Cersei! Barely a limp in sight for the twice-stabbed man. What a blessing it must be to be an indestructible major character on a show that once killed anyone and everyone at any time. Not anymore, GoT. Now we only kill characters in what are supposed to be emotional, drawn-out ways that just come off as cheesy and fake.
Speaking of that, how bout those Cersei and Jamie deaths! After Dany defeats Cersei’s army (again, with absolute ease), Cersei is losing it, but none other than her brother-lover shows up just in the nick of time, and takes her to try to run away. Hold up, let’s backtrack a minute. Her brother-lover is only able to find her in the first place because Tyrion inexplicably lets him go after his capture by Dany’s forces, and tells him to take Cersei and run. Tyrion! The same Tyrion who hates his sister’s guts, has wanted to see her dead for the entire show, and knows how evil she is. The same Tyrion who knows what his sister is capable of, and knows darn well that she will never just give up her throne. But, no, in a “heartwarming” moment, Tyrion lets his brother go in an attempt to save him and Cersei. Yes, the show will want the viewer to believe that Tyrion is attempting to save the city by getting Cersei to leave; the theory is that Dany will not decimate the city if the throne is uncontested. What the writers don’t want the viewer to realize, however, is that this absurd plot line only comes into play because they want Jamie and Cersei to have one final moment together, and then to die in each other’s arms. That’s the only reason that Tyrion releases his brother. His character’s intentions don’t even make that much sense when one realizes that Cersei will never surrender, and that realization should come pretty quickly to anyone who knows anything about GoT. But, anyway, back to their deaths. What a beautiful moment it is to have Jamie run to save his sister-lover, grab her, and take her away, presumably in an attempt to leave the city for good. But, wait, isn’t that the same Jamie who was stabbed in the arm and leg just moments before? It is! The same Jamie who would have died moments earlier if he wasn’t a major character miraculously runs the whole way to get to his sister just in the nick of time, and then take her to leave city. What fun it must be to be indestructible. But, oh no! There are rocks covering the entire opening to the underground, and Jamie (who is noticeably barely bleeding after being stabbed twice) is stuck with Cersei. What an unhappy coincidence that just enough rocks are present to cover the opening! They come to terms with their imminent demises, and die in each other’s arms, as the roof collapses on top of them. What a beautiful moment that is totally, 100% realistic. Great job, GoT.
And, finally, there’s Arya. The stone-cold assassin who has spent years training to be emotionless; faceless. Oh, no, though! She’s actually just a scared little girl who doesn’t want to die and spends the entire episode running around aimlessly! Yes, the same Arya Stark who kills the Night King, gets revenge on Walder Frey and the entire Frey House, and trains for seasons to be a Faceless Man is reduced to a scared little girl in merely minutes. Too bad. The show even goes as far as to give Maisie Williams makeup to make her look as young as possible during her running around scenes. Instead of giving her the strong, hard look that fans have gotten accustomed to over the past several seasons, Arya becomes the same scared little girl who watches her father’s beheading in season one. While she eventually does attempt to lead people to safety, she fails miserably, and simply looks stunned and overmatched throughout the entire episode. I thought there could be a strong female character that doesn’t go insane (ahem Dany), and says “not today” to fear and adversity. I guess not.
There is so much wrong with “The Bells” that the totally unsatisfying death of Varys is merely a footnote. But, wow, what a horrific ending to a brilliant character. The same man who has spies all over the country and oftentimes knows people better than they know themselves makes the mistake of appealing to Jon’s sense of want for the throne – which he has said multiple times that he doesn’t want – as well as his sense of skepticism for the woman that he loves and calls his Queen. Great decision there, Varys. And I’m sure a character as smart as Varys would make such a devastatingly stupid decision – and use such devastatingly stupid diction – there, GoT writers.
Verdict
“The Bells” is a complete travesty. There’s truly no better way to describe its events than this: GoT writers are ending the show in a way that someone who doesn’t know how to end a story would end one: going back to what they knew already (the Mad King/Queen; Jamie and Cersei), and killing off major characters in “heartwarming, bittersweet” ways, but not until they have those “heartwarming, bittersweet” moments.
1.5/10
If the series finale of GoT is as bad as “The Bells,” then this series will end in what is quite possibly the most disappointing way of any majorly beloved show of all-time. These wonderful characters deserve better. George R.R. Martin deserves better. We, the fans, deserve better.
